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60Zealand quickly deflated any ambition I might have by announcing she was engaged to be married to a sheep-farmer back home and was looking forward to seeing him again. So I resolved just to escort and enjoy. It transpired that Julia and Eric Morley funded the dinner, and no doubt made considerable profit, by selling off seats at the tables to anyone who would pay handsomely for them. Other seats at our table were occupied by 2 couples and a swarthy looking man, we%u2019ll call him %u201cMister Lecher%u201d, on his own, leaving one empty seat. As the dinner progressed and wine flowed, Mister Lecher did his level best to pull Miss N-Z %u2013 but she was having none of it. He then turned his attention to one of the wives and appeared to be going down a storm. That woman%u2019s husband, Mister Lothario, meantime set out to entice the other wife, who was lapping up the attention, leaving this woman%u2019s husband, as the gooseberry %u2013 or should I say, literally, the %u201cSpare pr..k%u201d? Dancing began and as more wine was taken, Miss N-Z and I watched this scene unfold in front of us %u2013 it became ever more intense and intimate as the key players consumed more booze. Eventually Mister Gooseberry had had enough and grabbed his wife by the arm to march her off to collect her wrap %u2013 which was the signal for the now disappointed Mister Lothario to grab his wife away from Mister Lecher who then also disappeared. So then we were 2. The Dinner and Dance ended. I saw Miss N-Z to her (genuinely luxurious) coach and then made my way to the 39-Seater in Air Force blue %u2013 a wiser if disappointed man. I also learned a bit about how posh functions were funded %u2013 not the most edifying business. David ForsythThe Old Boys Network Gone WrongIt was our 2nd or 3rd Term. Sergeant Ken Adams, the diminutive (and well-liked) D Squadron NCO in the Junior Cadets lines sent for me. In his inimitable delivery, somewhere between Cato of the Pink Panther and a market trader%u2019s out of the side of the mouth