Page 262 - Demo

258When I started this biography, I had to decide whether I told it all with warts and all or whether I sanitised it. I talked to Gabby about it and although she was not really interested, she more or less gave permission to write about it warts and all. I knew what I am about to write about would come up but I sort of buried my head in the sand about it. I have now reached this part of my story and am finding it very difficult. Checking things that I thought happened with my logbook suggests that I have some false memories. Things that I thought happened in a very short period of time did not and what follows may have happened over a period of several days or even weeks. I have only told one person who was not involved about this and that has helped me to make some sense of it. However, as I said it is very painful and upsetting to write, but in the interests of truth I think that I must try. When Gabby came home I told her that I had found the photos. I asked her if it was serious, a bit of a silly question but she dashed any hope that I had by saying yes. I asked her to get the photos and burn them in our Rayburn which she did. Actually, she managed to keep one of John but the rest went. Later, I realised that a polaroid film had 10 photos and I asked where the other 5 were and she told me that John had them. He worked as a senior manager for Rountrees and was about to have a 6-week sabbatical. He was going to take his 2 daughters to Spain for the whole of the summer holidays and his wife would join him for the last couple of weeks. No doubt he looked at his 5 photos while he was away! Gabby then left and went and told John that I knew. He apparently then told Sue and the cat was out of the bag. While Gabby was telling John, I did not know where she had gone but I remember sitting outside on the grass sobbing my eyes out when Judy Thompson came down and quickly realised what was happening. I asked her not to say anything. Her husband had had an affair a few years earlier and left her but was back after a few days. We must have pulled ourselves together for when the children came back from school. Later Gabby went to work at